Since the discovery of my walk-in experience in August, while many things improved, I continued to wrestle with the conflict between my two souls. In the August session, I understood that the two souls were merged.  While that is true on a purely spiritual/energetic level, my physical body continued to reject the change and my transition out of one soul dominating into the other one dominating has been quite the journey. I continued to wrestle with the change in lifestyle and identity and figuring out how to be more Mary and less Annette, or at least both.  Mary is what I chose but Annette needed something more to continue the change.

 

My guidance in the first session was to be called Mary Annette as a way to reconcile the two, but over the next 3 months I continued to wrestle with feeling like Mary and the mechanics and daily living of that change.  I got resolution in November 2021 in a second past life regression session with Karen, my Theta Healing instructor.

 

This was a 4½ hour recorded session which I used to transcribe my notes.  I was taken on 4 journeys by my spirit guides.  I got to see:

• Who Mary was when she planned this incarnation.

• Who Annette was when she planned this incarnation.

• What I am doing (as Mary Annette) in between lives (very cool indeed).  

• A path to discovering my intended life purpose in this incarnation.

 

Who Mary and Annette both were in planning my current incarnation was critical to understanding how I’ve lived my life to date.  

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Journey One – Another Lifetime for Mary (Soul One)

 

This is who Mary was when she planned the incarnation into Mary Annette’s lifetime.

 

The scene begins with me being in nature; in the mountains feeling absolute heaven.  It is daytime.  There are no trees; all I see are mountains.  I am on a trail with various plants.  Flip flop-type shoes are on my feet.  I am wearing a Native American dress and a headband; I am in my 30’s.  I was medium height and thin. My hair is brown and long and flowing. My hands are calloused and my fingernails are short; I work with my hands. I am wearing a large ring, bracelet and heavy turquoise necklace around my neck.  I have a walking stick.  I was alone in this first scene; there are no people around me but animals in the distance. 

 

I next see that I live in a cave in the side of a mountain. I sleep on a cot of some sort. I am deliberate in making the cave my home. I eat herbs for meals by making a small fire at the opening of the cave. I make broths for food.  I see myself as completely one with nature.

 

Then I journeyed to the events in this lifetime that are relevant to me (Mary Annette) in this lifetime. That is the way that Karen guided this regression journey.

 

Event One

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I am at a ceremony in a headdress celebrating an accomplishment and wearing much fancier dress.  I am older, but not aged, 40’s or 50’s I think.  I had just saved a mountain from demise or harm, or illness, and people were celebrating what I had done.  (This explains why in this lifetime I now have the gift of talking to the mountains.  To date I have spoken to Mount Kilimanjaro and Freemont Peak in Wyoming.)

 

Event Two

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I am surrounded by people who have come for healing.  There is laying on of hands.  I am wearing white.  I’m older with a little bit of gray hair. People are behind me making potions in an iron pot over a fire behind me that I use for healing others.  My name is “Mighty One.” People are coming from all over for healing and some are Indian but not all of them.  I am known as a great healer.

 

Event Three

 

I marry an Indian Chief (who is my current husband now (don’t tell him that yet!).  I am in my late teens.  He is tall, handsome, and has a similar body build to my Mark. A big guy. There are a lot of people there for the wedding, but most people come because they worship who he is as their chief and leader. This may explain why Mark is so well liked and personable in this lifetime.  The chief chose me because I am a gifted healer and beautiful soul, though he thinks I am beautiful on the outside too.  She is a powerful partner to him.

 

Event Four

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In my death, I was poisoned. I picked the wrong leaf off of a plant or tree; I wasn’t poisoned by someone.  Some time passed before anyone found me. 

 

Gaining Clarity

 

At this point, Karen then led me to discover the answers to the following questions:

 

As my soul left the body, what was my last conscious thought?

• “But my mission is not complete.” 

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After my soul left the body, what did I experience?

• Regret, shock, disbelief, disillusionment. I was asking, “How could this have happened?”

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Karen had me merge with the light at this time and go to the afterlife where there was a great deal of support for me as Mighty One and everything I just described.  She connected me to the higher wisdom and perspective and said many details would become clearer.  We did a life review. Guides who supported Mighty One came forward. 

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What was the purpose for my soul as Mighty One?

• To heal nature and to heal people.  

 

Did my soul fulfill her purpose? 

• Yes, though it was cut short.  

 

What talents did I have in that lifetime that are useful in this lifetime?

• Being a powerful healer.  Her healings always worked and never failed (except for one, described below.)

 

What opportunities did Mighty One have to overcome?

• She had the opportunity in this lifetime to overcome fears of nature and not being successful as a healer.

 

What was Mighty One’s happiest moment?

• When she healed the mountain and was recognized for it.  

 

What was Mighty One’s saddest moment?

• When she treated a woman who died from her potion/herb.  She wished her knowledge of the plant kingdom had been broader.  

 

How did Mighty One’s soul grow or advance in that lifetime? 

• She learned to trust outcomes, and the perfection of things even in death. She learned to trust the journey.  

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In what ways did this soul contribute to other souls and their advancement? 

• She shared her knowledge, and what she learned. She taught other souls; and is quite a teacher of other souls even now.  

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In what ways did this soul stumble in this lifetime?  

• Trying to help people that didn’t want to be helped, though the only  negative affect on the growth of others was when the woman died.

 

How is this lifetime connected with my present lifetime?

• I can talk to nature (and it talks back in language I can understand)!

• Creator gave me a process to clear rocks and support their journeys throughout their lives. I can talk to rocks, trees, plants and mountains now.

• I am learning to work with herbs and loving it, and am more nutrition conscious.

• I am becoming a healer, like I was then, pursuing training in multiple modalities.

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Did I recognize anyone I know on this journey?  

• I recognized my current minister, who was stirring the pot of herbs/potions.  She was a friend and different kind of healer.  

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Is there anyone in that lifetime that needs to forgive me?

• The family of the person that died.  At this point, we brought this family forward into the journey.  Because I was in the light in this meditation, it was possible for them to completely come forward without harming me.  

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What the family said to me:

• I was forgiven because this was an experiment.  This woman was dying anyway.  What I did was a chance, but an untested treatment.

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What I said to them:

• I am still heartbroken and sad that she died.  At that point, Karen had me grasp their hands, look them in the eyes, (connected with hands and heart,) and really feel their forgiveness coming forward.  I flowed love back to them from my heart.  They told me they recognized there is no death and that is why it was ok; there is an afterlife.  They faded into the light after that and after I forgave myself for that mistake in that lifetime.

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Is there anyone else from that lifetime I want to bring forward and talk to?  

• I got that there was someone who wanted to talk to me.  There was a higher-level chief that wanted to talk to me!  He was the “the Grand Poobah.”

• He said I did good work.  Something in the Native American tradition caused some strike against Mighty One for the mistake, and he told her that that rule or tradition did not apply in this case.  He said I was a proficient healer, I used my knowledge wisely, and I am beloved for my love of nature and my love of people.  I thanked him for coming forward because that was important for me and my soul to hear. He confirmed the message of the great work I did.

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What do I want to I tell my former self that would be healing to my soul?

• I’m trying to get there; to be that healer; to get all my crap out of the way; to evolve to that. I still love the mountains and nature dearly and am feeling more prepared now to be that role.

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What would she say to me, this former self, that would be healing to me in this life?

• She recognizes the difficulty I have had with dual souls/a split soul and it is ok. There is no judgment over what I have lived in this lifetime.  I have done my best.  It is remarkable that I am becoming a beautiful healer; from her view my progress seems very fast and like I’ve made up for lost time quickly; I am not behind in where I should be and, in some ways, I’m more advanced than she was. 

• Can she help me to totally forgive myself for giving the experimental treatment to another and for my own death by ingesting the wrong leaf?

  1. Yes…. I felt a big release; I am forgiven on both counts.

 

Interesting to note the poison affected my bowels even into this lifetime, and many guides were present working on my solar plexus chakra during this session.  You can see the light all over my sweatshirt in the picture below. I was laying on the floor on blankets by my desk because originally we thought I would write notes.  We ended up recording instead.

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Journey Two – Another Lifetime for Annette (Soul Two)

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Setting the Stage 

 

• It is New York City in the 1920’s.  I am wearing a Tuxedo, a red bowtie and shiny black patent leather shoes.  I am obviously male.  I am carrying a top hat.

• My hair is black, pretty short, and I am in my 20’s.

• My personality – I am a lot of fun, an entertainer, and a light, funny, positive, happy go lucky character.  I am an actor, which makes me a “character” in profession as well as life.

 

Then I journeyed to the events in this lifetime that are relevant to Annette in this lifetime.

 

Event One 

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I am getting ready to step on stage in a play.  I am also a singer and dancer.  I am playing a mime in addition to other roles in the play.  I’m on Broadway (yea!).  The audience is large.  I am standing behind the curtain, where people are moving furniture and props around.  Other actors are on stage, and I am waiting my turn.

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Event Two 

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I am out in a field with a clown-style mime face on, setting up for another performance.  I am the same age as before.  The mime face allows me to be something other than who really think I am. 

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Event Three 

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I live in a penthouse suite alone; I am wealthy.  At this point I have lots of women in my life, though I am fonder of one over the others.  (I never do marry or settle down.) 

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Event Four 

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I am a teenager, on the street at night alone, wandering.  I don’t know what direction to go with my life or what direction to go in that moment.  (This is how I have felt many times in my life, just wandering.)

 

(SIDE NOTE: I realized on further reflection the next day that this was the “build up” to the absolute magic of what happens next.  A BRILLIANT move on the part of my spirit guides who led me on this journey.  It was such a surprise and so much fun, not to mention helpful to a deeper level of understanding of myself. My dominant archetype, as Annette, is that of magician, and I have weaved aspects of what it means to be magical into my life and work as a leadership coach as much as I have been able!)

 

Event Five

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I next see myself on stage alone, many spotlights, the audience is giving me a standing ovation. I am about 10 years older at this point. I am very happy and have a big smile on my face.  I am a magician!  (hugely relevant to this lifetime as I branded my work around the magician theme!)

 

Event Six

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I have a beautiful, blond, shorter, female sidekick in this gig. She is my assistant. She represents the best part of myself – she helps me find my own magic by inspiring it.  She is the reason I am magical. I appear to have marriage intentions for her, but the loss of freedom is holding me back.  She seems very happy and would marry me the moment I asked. I never do marry her.  She is Marilyn Monroe-like in looks.  She’s always been a performer.  We met on a production. She is always putting others ahead of herself and standing in the shadows of someone else. She is frustrated that there is no marriage proposal but accepts me as he I am, and continues to bring the subject up. She just wants to be formally attached to me, not liking that it has stayed a casual relationship. It hurts her but she accepts me as I am.

 

(SIDE NOTE: When asked if I recognized her, I was stunned to get aware it is my sister in this lifetime.  I don’t consider my life to be anything worth standing in the shadows of, but she held a grudge against me for 11 years before even telling me she had a problem with me. The reasons she gave me did not seem logical to hold a grudge 11 years, but I suspect now she doesn’t really know what the root problem is. We certainly could have cleared things up a lot sooner. This is an example of both how souls travel together in time and how the unhealed pains of souls keep going through multiple lifetimes. It is important to pay attention to how our souls are feeling and to heal them while we heal ourselves. She brought the feeling of standing in the shadows forward into this lifetime, only as my sister instead of my assistant. On a happier note, one day out of the blue when the pandemic started, she appeared to have shifted her stance towards me. Things seem fine now, and I haven’t had the nerve to bring it up again, waiting to see if there will be more.)

 

Event Seven

 

Later in life, I am still performing magic and using it to heal people and I go into hospitals to heal sick people and children. This is how I heal others. 

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Event Eight

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I die by falling off a high wire on a unicycle in a performance, at the age of 42. This isn’t something I planned to keep doing after this performance.  There are people around me that witness the death. 

 

Karen then led me to discover the answers to the following questions:

 

What happened to the body after the fall? 

• He falls on pavement.  People rush to him after the initial shock. 

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What was his last thought before leaving his body?

• “Will anybody remember me? I didn’t get to fill out more of the details of the legacy I wanted to leave."

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What is his name?

• I consider myself ‘Jekyll’ as in Jekyll and Hyde.

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What was his soul purpose for this life?

• To show the world possibility, to make people believe.  

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Did he fulfill his purpose?  

• Yes.

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What was the happiest moment of his life?

• Making people who are in pain laugh.

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What was the saddest moment of his life?

• Not making everybody laugh.

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What could his soul have done better? 

• Coming out of his inner shell and mask with his personal life and his feelings. It was a conflict. His soul was trying to express more but he just couldn’t get there (so much like me up until now!). He was great at being the life of the party but wasn’t great at expressing the important things in life or his true self.

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What does he regret not experiencing? 

• Not sharing the stage or the credit with others, not letting others be the star on the stage; he had to work hard to keep himself the star.

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What message does Jekyll have for me (Annette in this lifetime) now? 

• There are no limitations to the way magic is expressed.  By becoming a healer, I am not losing my ability to be magical.  I’m just expressing it in a different way.  I have had a narrow view of what it means to be magical; expand the possibilities for using magic and being magical in a different way.  There is more magic in the healing I’m doing now than the kind of magic magicians learn as tricks.  

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What can I do in my current lifetime that would help to heal and balance that which occurred in the lifetime as the magician?

• It is ok to see myself as a magician as a healer.  All my knowledge I have spent building years as a coach and leadership development magician, now just see the time I’m spending building my healing skills as building a different type of magic. I’m just learning a different kind of magic.  Magic is magic. When it comes through the soul it is all magic.  IT IS ALL MAGIC.  

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Karen than had me call upon my inner physician.  What can you release that is genetically holding you back from good health in your current lifetime?

• My belief in separation 

• My belief in limits – that people are limited and that there are always limitations to human capabilities 

• There is only one way; I’m confined to one space, to see what I can see in the natural world (I see this in my ancestors; lacking the skill to conceive of going beyond a physical human experience.)

• A belief in separation from the soul (I always did in this lifetime see myself as separate from soul for a variety of reasons).  What I then got was "without my soul I am limited and with my soul I am not.  It is the soul that makes the magic happen."  

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I asked, “How do I see the soul as a friend and partner and not someone that wants to hurt me?”

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• By focusing on the magic. By looking for the magic and looking for that which lives on. By recognizing the oneness. By being willing to be the extension of soul.  Being an extension of the soul does not displace me; it gives me access to more magic and more power.  Shift my attention to a different kind of magic.  

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What skills do you bring forward from your life as a magician to your life as a healer?

1. A great love for wanting to understand how things work behind the scenes

2. Intuition/sixth sense

3. Belief in both the magic and I’m capable of performing the magic as a healer 

4. The ability to see clearly; there is a natural ability there that I already have (this is true; I have always been able to see things other people don't see.)

 

Karen then had me look into the eyes of my past magician self and connect deeply with that soul and send love, blessings and compassion to that magician part of me.  Annette is not forgotten; she is recognized within my DNA. I fully embraced who I am as a magician, which is a part of who I am now as Mary the healer.  I allowed the radiant light from source to wash all through me, cleansing and freeing me from any limitations from that past life.  

 

Continue to part three to learn what I learned about what I am doing when I am in between incarnations.

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