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My first name is Mary.  My middle name is Annette.  When I was born my parents called me Nettie, but even as a small child I knew myself as Mary.  I never liked the name Nettie but didn't think it was important enough to ask my parents to change it because I knew myself to be Mary. When I was 3, I had a dream and saw a beautiful angel, an adult angel. She was surrounded by golden light, was dressed in blue and had angel wings.  I instinctively knew the Angel was me and that it meant "light bearer." I knew that I was going to be a "light bearer" in the world, telling the truth about how life really works and what is real.

 

The first day I went to kindergarten I was sitting at my single desk, by the wall, on the left side of the classroom.  The teacher called each of us up to tell her and the class what we wanted to be when we grew up.  When it was my turn, I went up and told her I was going to be a light bearer.  Even at that young age, I knew that language.  She called me by my first name and that was the only time I ever answered to Mary from then on out.  When I told her my dream, she scolded me, slapped my hands and told me never to say anything like that again.  She didn't tell my parents any of that, but after that the school kept wondering why I wouldn't answer to Mary. What I next saw in this memory was sitting at my desk with a totally stricken look on my face.  It was fear, shock, disbelief, and I couldn't understand what was wrong with telling my truth and what I said.

 

That event traumatized me and in that moment I had to completely disassociate myself from Mary to survive. That was when I, unknown to me at the time, had a walk-in second soul who came in to support me and enable me to fully embrace Annette. Life as Mary was over until 2021.  In the moment when my hands were slapped, my body learned that every time I told the truth I would be punished or get sick. That was the beginning of a number of health issues over the course of my life, many of which I now see are tied to telling the truth.     

 

I learned on Friday, August 6, 2021, that on that day a second soul entered my consciousness and I had been living with two ever since, also known as a split soul.  I was working with my Theta Healing instructor who got clued in to this by my telling her I wouldn't respond to Mary at school; only to Annette. Her name is Karen, and she is quite the gifted healer and intuitive. 

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Karen put me into a deep theta state, like hypnosis, and took me in between my lives to understand this so we could heal it. My guides were with me, though I didn’t see them.  Jesus was also with me, and I did see him. NOT NOT NOT the biblical Jesus, but the ascended master Jesus, very different than portrayed in the bible. Because of my own nasty religious history, it’s important to make that distinction for myself. In this past life regression, we did a life review of this second soul who has been with me for all these years. I got to see one life that my soul lived. 

 

His name was Vincentio, and when I first saw him, he was standing on a hill in Italy, overlooking a city, much like the picture here. He was thin, poor, and had long, oily hair like he hadn’t taken care of himself.  He had a kind face and was wearing a beret. He was a kind soul.

 

Karen asked me for his significant life events in this theta state and used specific instructions to guide me to each one.  The next one I saw was that he was a baker and he lost everything in a fire, which is why I first saw the poor Vincentio.  He didn’t have family to speak of and was mostly alone. 

 

We journeyed to the next event.  He had married and either married into money or recouped his bakery business by that time.  It was a big Italian wedding, filled mostly with her family but still just a few friends there for him.  His hair was short, and he was quite handsome, and much more confident.  He and his wife had a long and happy marriage.  

 

The next event I saw was the loss of a child.  This would have been in a time when doctors quickly knew they could do no more and sent people home to die.  It was a boy, about the age of 10 and the mother was sitting beside him in his bed crying while Vincentio was standing beside them.  There were no other children in this lifetime, but I did see the loss of a baby and we think that was from a different lifetime for this soul.  Thankfully, Karen didn’t let me linger here so I didn’t get caught up in the grief.

 

The next event I saw was Vincentio and his wife outside a movie theater which he owned.  It was large and a venue for Hollywood-style premiers, and he and his wife were laughing with various celebrities and having a good time.  It was nice to see the big smiles on their faces. It was nice to see he enjoyed success after so much loss.

 

Karen then took me inside my mother’s womb, where I saw myself as a baby and saw a baby under stress.  My mother was sick with Chron's disease while pregnant with me, divorced my biological father who was not interested in us, and lost her own mom around that time.   

 

Karen asked how he died.  He died of old age, and his wife was by his side at that time.

 

Karen asked what regrets he may have had.  He regretted not reaching out and surrounding himself with more people. He never felt like he found his way spiritually.  He regretted not seeing more of the world.

 

As Karen brought me out of this journey, Vincentio said to me, “I will let you go if you will travel the world.” Who wouldn’t keep that as a worthy life mission?  Of course, I will!

 

Vincentio smoked cigars, which explains why I enjoy a good cigar with my husband 2-4 times a year.  He was a baker, which explains why my joke has always been “in the next lifetime I’m going to be either an I/O psychologist or a pastry chef.” Ha!

 

As we talked to process all of this, she asked me, “which one do you want to be now?”  I was surprised that I was given a choice.  Not knowing all the outcomes, the coach in me said “Mary the healer.” I saw her as more of a game changer, though Vincentio changed the lives of many with the love he poured into his food.  I will not look back with regret over my decision because it is time to move into wholeness. 

 

Karen used the Theta Healing commands to merge the two souls into one.  I don’t know exactly what Creator did to do that but that was the first step.  The merging process has continued as my physical body rejected it more than once like it would reject a physical organ.  We muscle-tested various aspects of how to merge the two souls. My body would not accept the merging of “twin souls.”  It would accept the merging of “two souls.” I have encountered multiple healing sessions with Creator to get my body to accept the merging.

 

While I was certainly more at peace, August 7, Saturday, was a tough but necessary day on the way to this new identity.

 

As I began to wrestle with this, I got very angry.  Angry that my whole life has been one great big existential crisis. Angry that this could happen to a five-year-old girl.  Angry that I have struggled to make so many decisions because of so many interests.  Angry at the jobs I lost because I couldn’t answer the question “where do you see yourself 5 years from now?”  My husband was out of the house that day, so I had the space to cry, grieve, and even yell and scream.  And then relief set in.

 

Relief that if I needed that support as a child, I got it. Relief that a kind soul was allowed in that matched the kindness of Mary. I am called Mary for a reason.  And anger, when released, opens new pathways.  It opened a beautiful Sunday where I had the courage to explain all this to my husband.  You see, the Creator also worked on my ability to speak my truth and bring my voice forward.  S/he downloaded into me the strength to tell my stories. Mark is more of a traditional Christian and I had no idea how he would see this, let alone believe any of it.  But I needed to tell the truth and let him decide what to do with it.  He was AMAZING!  He may not get how souls travel together through lifetimes, but he knows we are meant to be together and will never walk away. Of course, with his humor here comes the jokes.  “Who were you when you just said that?” I will let them be for a time as he settles into this and then ask him to move on.

 

I also learned on Sunday, the day after Mary's rage, that while in that anger and despair every time I expressed myself my guides were saying, with humor, "oh that was a good one.  That was a really good one." They are completely undaunted by such human behavior because they know it is normal and what makes us human. LMAON. Laughing. My. Ass. Off. Now. 

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I was also told that my soul needs a child to fully heal.  My husband had previously said he wanted to foster a child and I didn’t agree because I couldn’t have foreseen this nor did I want it.  When I shared this with him his entire face lit up. Healing has to happen first because of what I have lived through with his own kids.  But I will investigate mentoring a child with “sleepover” options to get used to caring for a child and what that entails. There are reasons somewhere I did not have children of my own. The Creator is patient, kind, and will make sure I have everything I need to take this journey and at the right time.

 

I was guided to reclaim the name Mary; to start introducing myself as Mary Annette.  I did not make this decision right away, but as it turns out, there was much more to the story, described in parts two-six.

 

I was also encouraged to get a minister’s license.  Not to lead a church but to be licensed for the purpose of laying on of hands. It will be non-denominational.

 

I also received clearing and healing for a Native American lifetime.  It’s because in this lifetime I manifested an extraordinary nutritional set of products that target DNA/genes/brain chemicals and stress.  They were the beginning of my brain getting out of this fog.  They have adaptogens in them which the Chinese have used forever.  But to be successful using them for myself and others as a healer, a history of unsuccessfully working with herbs as a Native American had to be healed. My herbs and my working with them are now safe, cleared, and I am ready to go!

 

In this 4-hour session the Creator changed and healed the gene for Chron’s disease and irritable bowel syndrome.  In theta healing we do body scans, where the Creator turns on the light and shows what needs to be done.  I watched as Karen cleared black blockages from my intestines. They looked like kinks in a hose.  I saw them laying nice and flat and curling around like they are supposed to.  I saw other toxins cleared away, but the gene for this disease was changed in an instant.  With the Creator, things are always done in the highest and best way. Gene changes affect 6-7 generations back, which means her mother, and those before, will be having some relief about now at the soul level.

 

I was told my gifts, with the name Mary, are compassion, kindness, and mercy.  I was offered help to prioritize my options for making a living between coaching, healing and working with herbs.  We used muscle testing to ensure my body like the order of focus areas, which turned out to be healing, herbal use, and coaching.

 

The last piece of this puzzle is that the Thursday before this, I asked the Creator what law of the universe I was most in harmony with, and I heard “the law of compassion.” I asked to have a conversation with the law.  I asked it what it most wants me and the world to know right now.  Here is what I got:

 

• Compassion is supposed to be a glue that holds us together across the globe.

• It enables us to release judgment and free our own minds.

• It is the energy of the helpless and the hopeless; it is what they need most to shift their lives.

• It is the foundation for many other emotions.  For example, when we are faced with a difficult person, if we come from compassion, that generates curiosity, which causes us to ask completely different questions and see the person differently and opens us to new possibilities of what to feel in the moment besides “you are difficult.”

• Compassion helps us generate kindness and being of service to others.  

• Compassion is embodied through practicing it and expressing it.

• It helps us act in ways that otherwise would not occur to us (like the day I had 2 minutes between meetings and flew up the steps to give my cat her treats I had forgotten in a rush earlier LOL).

• It sits in us like a fuel, and when allowed and unblocked spreads like wildfire.

• It is an emotion we can use with intention to support putting out worldwide fires. It is what drives firefighters.

• It is the kindness that difficult people need because in that moment they are being what they know or can be, and compassion can bring them out of it.

• We don’t live in the heads of others and can’t claim to share their experiences.  Compassion helps us try to understand.

 

The next cigar I smoked I raised to Vincentio. The next pastry I ate I blessed for, with, and through him. I think of him fondly every time I entertain guests and doing any kind of baking. Mary Annette is now free to be that healer, while she travels the world enjoying the occasional pastry and cigar.  I am beyond grateful for this gift of understanding and a huge part of my existential crises was solved, but the story doesn't end here.

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Continue to Part Two